“I stopped using Facebook too!”  I was having a conversation with Zoic Studios Co-Founder and Co-Executive Director Loni Peristere about this post and talking about why I chose to deactivate my Facebook account for thirty days and sharing it with the IDYE readers.  I felt as though Loni and I shared a moment of understanding and solidarity .  A few months back he stopped checking his Facebook account until recently when he posted some photos of a wedding he attended.  I asked him how it felt to disengage, thinking that he was going to tell me how much better it was to not be using Facebook anymore.  ”Oh I felt completely disconnected from everyone!  It was really strange.”  Loni felt that Facebook was taking up too much of his time, which is why he stopped using it and yet he felt disconnected without it.  The experiment: stop using Facebook for thirty days, suddenly felt a lot less promising.

I made the decision to deactivate my personal Facebook account over Labor Day weekend.  The reason for this is simple and to be honest is a little embarrassing.  I saw a post from my ex boyfriend and I got really angry.  After the initial reaction, I realized the anger I felt was completely unfounded, irrational and frankly just stupid.

I was angry over a Facebook status update?!  The update was nothing special, and had absolutely nothing to do with me.  Now I know what you are thinking, why not just delete him or block him?  I thought about it, but by deleting him it felt as though I was deleting him from my life.  Plus with 100 friends in common I would need to then go through and delete and block them too.  I actually read an article that was on CNN that spoke of this very topic:

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-09-01/tech/netiquette.unfriending_1_friend-request-facebook-jug-band?_s=PM:TECH

Then it hit me. Instead of feeling bad or guilty about deleting people, why not simply delete myself? If I took myself out of the equation, it would make things easier.  I would document how I was feeling via twitter with status updates as well as just through my own personal blog and maybe through video posts.  I could be the next Morgan Spurlock, but with Facebook instead of McDonald’s (For those that don’t get the reference, Spurlock made the documentary Supersize Me about eating McDonald’s for 30 days as well as created the amazing yet brief cable series on FX called 30 Days which documented people doing various things from binge drinking to working in a coal mine).

Deactivating your account is pretty simple and you can always go back, at least this is what Facebook promises.  This is a screen grab of what happens when you go into your account profile setting and hit the tag that says deactivate:

Are you sure you want to deactivate your account?

Deactivating your account will disable your profile and remove your name and picture from anything you’ve shared on Facebook.

Joshua will miss you

Send Joshua a Message

Kate will miss you

Send Kate a Message

Brian will miss you

Send Brian a Message

Samantha will miss you

Send Samantha a Message

Susanne will miss you

Send Susanne a Message

Along with the message are a number of pictures of the friends in your Facebook profile. Then I saw it, a picture of me and my ex smiling with the words X will miss you, send X a message.  So I pushed deactivate.

The catalyst for my deactivation from Facebook obviously began to try to disengage from an ex in a healthier way, but it soon became about more.  Like Loni, I felt I was wasting a lot of time being on Facebook.  My time could be filled with more productive things than looking at people’s profiles and status updates.  I was going to paint that shelf I wanted to hang in the kitchen, take my dog on longer walks and finally learn guitar.

Plus I realized I was posting a lot of updates and at times probably being too personal with over 500 people who didn’t really care.  Besides, no one would notice I was gone anyway.  I was wrong.  Within about two hours I received a text message from my father that read, “Your mom wants to make sure you are ok.  She can’t find you on Facebook.”  A few other people began asking what happened to me or that they couldn’t find my profile.  One friend asked, “What about us not having you for thirty days? People want to share with you…”  I sort of found it funny because if people want to share something can’t they just pick up the phone and call me?  The short answer is probably not.  We have become a passive society in which we would rather send a quick status update or text message because it’s just easier. I thought that not being connected wouldn’t be that hard for me, and besides it was just a month.  I could handle not being on Facebook for one month… couldn’t I?

After two days I started to go a little stir crazy.  I realized I felt completely disconnected from friends as Facebook was how I learned about the people I care about.  I learned about my friends moving, getting engaged and having children.  I would invite people out for drinks on Facebook, comment on current events and it was one of the means in which I expressed myself sharing stories or blog posts like these.  On day three I had to reactivate my account to get a phone number and address that someone sent me on Facebook.  I didn’t have their email and Facebook was the only means in which we communicated.  I jumped back on and a flood of updates came at me and I have to say it was really overwhelming.  I jumped back off quickly as to try to continue my no Facebook ban and two days later, on day five I convinced myself that I should check back in as part of the experiment.  In reality, I was bored.  I went to reactivate my account, but I couldn’t.  I logged in several times and this appeared:

Facebook Login

I don’t understand.  What happened?  I typed in the correct email and password so I began troubleshooting, clearing my cache and cookies per the troubleshooting instructions and when I still couldn’t log in I contacted Facebook.

Confirm Facebook Account